17 months. That is how long it has been since I took my last A Level Paper, the last day I stepped into my Junior College as a student.
14 months. That is how long it has been since I was revealed the results that I have yielded after two challenging years in the A Level model. Challenging indeed were those two years, and I have to say, I was not prepared to face that challenge.
I enjoyed my JC life very much, I met a great bunch of friends during that time, friends I treasure ever so dearly till this day, though as months breeze by, we seldom chatter. But I won’t expand on such trivially common topics. I matured so much during those years, though I wish I had more time.
Two years. That’s how much older I was relative to my peers, but I was always finding myself less developed than those around me. As my friends aged into ladies and gentlemen, I couldn’t resist dwelling in the comfortable confines of my youth. I was deluded, I felt I would never age, that I would always be in this wonderful adolescent phase of my life, no matter what everyone else said.
That’s how I found myself, trapped between choices, trapped between dreams, trapped in reality.
I remember my A Level grades well, I doubt I would ever forget.
[edit: I just noticed how my grades spell DEUCES #endrandom]
- H1 General Paper – D
- H1 Project Work – C
- H1 Economics – U
- H2 Physics – E
- H2 Chemistry – S
- H2 Mathematics – E
It was obvious I could not get into any degree course in either NUS or NTU, schools I’ve always imagined getting into, so I didn’t bother apply, instead I attempted to retake my A Levels the next year, and went back to school.
Going back to school, just reminded me how much I was yet to be prepared, I realised I needed time off, just for a while, I needed to gain some maturity and discipline, that’s what I had hoped to gain when I enlisted in the army at least.
Military life has been difficult though these past couple of months in Basic Military Training, BMT. Frustration overwhelms me whenever a commander is yelling what I feel is nonsense into my ears. But I do see myself growing, although I do not quite feel my readiness to redo my A Levels just yet, that is why I decided to take a slow step forward. I registered to only one of my subjects for reexamination this year, and that subject is H1 Economics. It was my least favourite subject in school, but I am hoping to man up, and put true focus on it this time.
Many of my friends have done well, and I am very proud of their success. They got into the courses of their liking, and are either eagerly waiting to enrol or are already phasing into their second year! But, I must not digress from the direction of this journal, the focus must remain on the underdogs to the A Level system. Many of my dear friends, faired better than I did, but their grades incline closer to my grades than they do to the ideal. After a year if applications, slowly I find them receiving offers, very much unexpectedly, might I add. You really cannot give up all hope, and if you didn’t get accepted the first time, you truly must try, try again!
May your will to strive never run out,
F.E.